Embracing the Struggle

6 rules that will help you appreciate the process and achieve greater success

I see a lot of pro tennis players become jaded by their long tennis journey. They suffer stress, anxiety and all sorts of emotional highs and lows. Tennis is meant to be fun, yet they no longer can find enjoyment in playing. What happens? Where do things go wrong?

I have a few harsh truths to share.

On the surface these words are not motivational and in fact seem downright depressing. But if you delve a little deeper and learn to embrace the struggle then you'll see a formula for remaining a happy competitor. 

Embracing the Struggle Rule 1:

"It's hard, and it gets harder."

Let's take tennis as an example. Success isn't easy; you are taking on your mental challenges, tackling the issues in your game, working to build a robust body and keep it healthy, finding out about your character and facing brutal self-awareness. This responsibility is something that most of your family and friends won't or can't grasp (and nor should you try to make them - it's your journey and choice, not theirs). 

The problems don't stop. They get bigger.

On day one of your first tournament, you have the problem of winning matches. As a pro you have to find enough wins every month just to cover costs. A couple of years down the line you have to find ways to win at Challenger level and beyond and keep focused on your learning process when it seems near impossible to believe you can get to the highest level. 

Not only is it hard, but it also doesn’t end. Tennis is like boxing - each victory gives you the opportunity to face an even bigger, stronger opponent.

Rather than hoping for the day it becomes effortless, you need to face up to the challenge, embrace the struggle and realise that you aren't digging ditches or scavenging for food. Stop looking for easy answers and keep working to get better by making things happen. 

Your problems are often all of your own making, and you are engaged in a personal mental struggle to bring your best game consistently to the court. 

Embracing the Struggle Rule 2:

"No one is coming to save you."

There's no "genie" coming to "take you to the next level" - There's no world-class coach who's going to fix every problem who's coming to join your team. 

Stop thinking an investor is going to drop a big lump sum into your tennis because you believe in your vision. It can happen but it is rare until you are proving you can win at a high level; everyone knows the high risk to succeeding in tennis.

In every way you are in the driver’s seat, and everyone is looking to you. Great people join your team because you make them believe in you by your positive attitude and actions. You inspire them and believe in them as much as they believe in your potential and mentor you with patience while you make mistake after mistake. They save you only in so far as they make you aware of your painful truths, but it is only you who can and must use this to evolve. 

The results won't come until the day you truly play to win without fear of loss. Only when you are world class and highly profitable will so many offer you the money you no longer need.

Removing the hope that someone is coming to save you leaves you with the realisation that your destiny is in your hands. 

Embracing the Struggle Rule 3:

"There are no big wins, only incremental progress"

You're going to get big wins only after you're operationally excellent for many years in a row. Within the context of the hard work and how brave you become; the big win will and must seem relative. Others might call it a big win, but it’s likely you'll think of it as a victory that was hard won and less surprising, given the progress you have made.

Game changing matches are never as game changing as you think, big moments quickly fade, and huge titles come with bigger obligations. The good news is that as soon as you accept that progress is all that’s needed you can keep moving forward and stop getting distracted. No one single result makes or breaks a career unless you let it!

This harsh truth will set you free because the belief that the big win is it, the one that sets you up and changes everything actually means that you are too far away mentally for big wins to happen.

Get rid of the myth that there is one win that will change it all.

The truth is one win can be a catalyst for more wins, but if the ‘big one’ is not backed up by further wins it becomes a flash in the pan moment. Wins start to compound, and a career is built brick by brick, so success is rarely a massive surprise. You evolve mentally into the champion and become increasingly strong enough to handle the bigger pressures and tougher opponents.

Embracing the Struggle Rule 4:

"In order to do the necessary work, you have to love the adventure"

Players get into pro tennis because they think they can have a career based on their playing ability. Few started based on their mental skills for winning and learning, yet it is these skills that ultimately determine success.

There’s no system that generates wins passively. You have to do the work! Super talented players still need an excellent mental and physical work ethic. It's always going to be hard at times to reach targets (if you have ambition to grow) and it never ends. As soon as you accept this idea, that you do the smart and hard work, after which good things happen, (you just never know when).

A curiosity to improve and learn makes competing an adventure. Gather a fun and knowledgeable team of people around you who inspire you and help you to win. 

Embracing the Struggle Rule 5:

"No one, single thing will work."

There's no fool proof system, there's no silver bullet and there are no people who just work hard and succeed without leadership. Every programme will need to continually be refined, every cutting-edge innovation will be copied and become common place, every hot idea will cool off, so therefore every ace team member including yourself will need to keep improving. 

If you expect people, systems, or things to just work, you'll be upset and constantly let down. Competing requires you to manage your mindset and there's no such thing as a mind that just stays on it. Champions are people who get good at mind management under pressure. No one single thing will work, but you'll get better at working your tools and understanding your own mind. 

As soon as you give up on the expectation that things just work, you suddenly embrace the challenge of dealing with more and more complexity. You discover a rhythm of pre-empting what needs your attention, and you begin to fix things just as they begin to break rather than waiting for them to fall apart.

Great players make it look easy, and for them it is loads of fun, because they have embraced the struggle and developed the attitude needed to compete effectively rather than submitting to delusions and excuses. 

Embracing the Struggle Rule 6:

"You don't play to get rewarded."

As soon as you give up on the idea that you play for a payoff, and you just compete as best you can, you'll start to gain huge satisfaction from the work itself. Everything on top of the opportunity to play will be a bonus.

Competing well is tough, but it's great fun when you begin to understand “sweet suffering”. It's a challenge that forces you to perform at your best and it rudely punishes anything less.

The main thing that makes tennis miserable is false expectations.

If you want it to be easy, it gets damn hard.

Paradoxically, if you embrace the struggle, it's a lot more fun.