Happiness designed as a way of life

“It’s a helluva start, being able to recognise what makes you happy.”

Lucille Ball

Success

Here comes another truth about relative success. Design your own happiness. It will be an enormous disappointment if your expectation of success is that it will totally change everything. I know a top tennis player who became very depressed after he made his first million. When I asked why, he stated he thought his life would be very different, but realised after some thought that: 

“Money, in fact, only changes the venue "

This statement is extremely astute. 

Celebrate

We should celebrate and find great satisfaction in winning or accomplishment. It is brilliant when prosperous people are comfortable in their skin, enjoying and appreciating what they have. It is even more admirable when successful people are grateful for their opportunity, appreciative of the help given to them along the way, and share in their good fortune. Relish the journey because when you “get” there, the journey just continues whether you like it and only ends when you die. 

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you do that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

Dale Carnegie

What you believe

The thought of death is actually a great stimulus to cherish each day. Life has difficulties, and happiness is not a goal. Happiness is what you believe it to be and therefore you may as well design what makes you happy in a way that ensures contentment.

Feet on the Ground

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Buddha

Keep your feet on the ground

Another way to help us in designing our happiness is to keep our feet on the ground. There is a wonderful pleasure in taking the time to notice or say something to make another person smile or laugh. This is something I seek, but being a tall person with a naturally stern face when I’m not smiling, I have to constantly remind myself to appear friendly. We all come across people who are gifts to the world, individuals who make anyone in their company feel at ease and valued — wonderful examples of the best of humanity. This is a challenge for every successful person. To stay grounded and consider that being a talented footballer or lawyer is useless when your house is flooding. You need a suitable plumber. Talent is relative to the task at hand.

Relativity

There are the geniuses that are simply outstanding people, with phenomenal talent or brains that take one's breath away. However, many impressive accomplishments are achieved by ordinary people, doing something extraordinarily well. Yet, few of us believe it is this ordinary person, you and me, who can accomplish amazing feats. 

“Change comes from dedicated, ordinary people in the trenches, serving a cause greater than self.”

Linda Bender

The Future

One day you may well look back and see that this ordinary person, you, has lived an extraordinary life. Don’t chase fame and fortune, follow your passion and do the focused work and allow life to unfold. 

I can always tell when people are caught up in the trappings of success. The eyes are distant. They have difficulty focusing on one person or conversation. Their whole being is fixated on being recognised and acknowledged as someone special. This whilst pretending it is not a big deal. Celebrity madness is the ability to believe in superior mortals, namely themselves. 

“Don't confuse confidence with arrogance. Arrogance is being full of yourself, feeling you're always right, and believing your accomplishments or abilities make you better than other people. People often believe arrogance is excessive confidence, but it's really a lack of confidence. Arrogant people are insecure and often repel others. Truly confident people feel good about themselves and attract others to them,“

Christie Hartman

Dedication

The genuine star keeps a capacity to understand that he is doing something extraordinary well and is grateful for both the opportunity and his talent. The dedication remains in the art of doing the job, not the plaudits. 

“Friendships born on the field of athletic strife are the real gold of competition. Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust,”

Jesse Owens

Summary

Life is messy and often hard to navigate, but if we keep a sense of humour, not take ourselves too seriously and listen to our inner-voice. It is surely the most fascinating adventure and most exciting because there is no opt-out. We have to take the ride so as best we can, we need to choose our attitude, view, and direction.

I encourage every person to value learning, be grateful for every chance to enhance, express, share and celebrate your personal and distinctive journey. 

Written by David Sammel

Extract of his book: The Difference between belief and confidence