The Yin and Yang

Darkness and light

We know joy because we know sadness.

We know winning because we experience defeat.

We know love because of hate.

The list of yin and yang can go on and on! 

Why then do we consistently want only the Yin, the good side of the equation when it cannot exist without the Yang? 

Only the positive side

If we tell ourself that only positive things are needed and if indeed much of our life is sheltered from the Yang, then we are open to and will invent the negative so that we can feel bad or indeed feel anything. Our senses and emotions get blunted from all the good and small irrelevant things become big – bad traffic, for instance, ruins the day. We create the negative so we can say my life is not as easy or good as others think. 

This is dangerous because it can surface in many forms because, as humans, we need to feel the thrill of victory after the bitter pill of defeat. We need to experience both sides in order to appreciate the other, to be grateful rather than entitled. The more complacent and entitled anyone becomes, the greater the risk of creating situations for thrill and risk seeking the ultimate Yang to feel the Yin. 

First the Yang

This dovetails with other human desires of certainty and uncertainty and significance. 

• Drama and victim mentality
• Addictions 
• Crime 
• Sabotage 
• Hurtful behaviour to ourselves or others

If we only experience good, we would not have to question why things happen, so we would have no need of faith, because if faith depended on having all the answers, then if you had all the answers, thus no need of faith. 

Too hard

Whilst serious adversity is often almost too hard to bear, have faith that we don’t have all the answers and faith that the adversity will pass and time can blunt its impact. This is a way to survive when all seems lost. 

Sometimes trauma becomes a driving force for creating something good, because people who experience hell will appreciate even the smallest of mercies and are typically the people who appreciate life on a deeper level. 

Best practice

If you are one of the relatively few privileged people on the planet, appreciate your amazing Yin.  

Discover healthy ways to experience defeat and pain through challenges in sport, business, or a combination of the two. 

Helping and hearing the stories of those less fortunate with empathy can teach us plenty often the fact that it is their struggles that give them a rich happiness and appreciation of the small wonders of life because they will have had experiences from which we at the very least can try to learn from, understand and keep the wolf of condescension from our minds. 

Written by

David Sammel